The Lower Self
written by Sophie de Lacaze, Body Psychotherapist
"I am better than you"
"I will never trust"
"My way is the only way"
"I have what you want but I will never give it to you"
"I will force you to give it to me"
Sometimes it can be very hard to admit that we do have this kind of negative thoughts and intentions – especially if we are yogis, spiritual seekers or consider ourselves conscious in one way or another. Unless we are enlightened.
Charged with negativity
The above attitudes are expressions of the evil side of life force that is within all of us. Hidden in the darkest corner of our soul, the lower self possibly has more control over our life than we imagine. It is highly charged with energy containing all the negativity we have felt as a child when our basic needs weren’t met: To be loved unconditionally and nurtured on a physical, emotional and spiritual level.
If the little one does not get a deep satisfaction, it responds with anger and grief which is often not accepted by the caretakers. That's how we learn to suppress our spontaneous feelings at a very early age. As a result the lower self is still a part of our adult personality. It shows its face in subtle ways like arrogance, passive aggressive behavior or more overt through hatred, revenge, jealousy, envy or cruelty. We are very creative with this!
Defense against pain
These negative reactions protect us from our unresolved wounds and the immense pain that lies beneath the negativity. This defense mechanism aims to avoid painful feelings but at the same time blocks pleasure and joyfulness. The lower self grants us specialness and control over life at the cost of separation: As long as we deny and thereby disown our negativity, we can't access the true core that in its essence is love.
The notion that our true nature consists of pure love resonates with many spiritual people. Unfortunately, they tend to take a short-cut to oneness which doesn’t work, if they haven't fully owned their negativity. Behind a superficial smile, an exaggerated gentle voice that purrs wise words, there might still linger some hidden shadow that needs to be integrated before we truly can embody love or oneness. We cannot move beyond our body as long as we are separated from it and the creative power that lies within.
Pleasure of Connection
There is a lot of healing work out there that deals with exactly this. We must be willing to admit, feel and take the responsibility for the part in us which gains negative pleasure from sabotaging deep fulfillment. In this process we likely experience old suppressed emotions such as anger, fear and grief. When we are able to feel the pain of separation, we can eventually experience the pleasure of connection: To our core, others and life itself. If we have the desire to expand and live from our full potential, we need to look at our lower self ego and learn the lessons it is trying to teach us.
Healing Sessions and Groups
Do you feel drawn to explore what keeps you from living a fulfilled life?
Sophie de Lacaze works as a body psychotherapist in Berlin giving sessions for individuals and couples as well as ongoing process groups. With clarity and passion she inspires people to move beyond their limitations to become who they really are.
Next group process: September 4th, Heilkreis – Dare To Be You
For individual and couple work contact Sophie via email.
